Thursday, June 6, 2013

Mighty Hunter Finds Playground

Anyone who frequents the central park in Helsinki has probably noticed the sudden and worrying decline of squirrels recently. Those little chaps who scurry up trees and steal seeds from bird-feeders will soon be on the IUCN Red List if they don't watch their backs, for it seems a new and insatiable predator has settled in the area. It was first sighted in Ireland, where reports described a strange monster prowling the streets at night, nose to the ground and tail in the air. Leprachaun demise has been attributed to it by some accounts, although those accounts were mostly fuelled by Ireland's black stuff. Tales became few and far between and apparently the beast's taste-buds had turned to a chewier meat, that of the Swedish moose. No doubt after a few years chewing on the gristle laden shanks of moose the mighty hunter yearned for a sweeter and more delicate flavour to tickle his palate. And what juicier, jumpier and joyfuller prey than the humble squirrel? Has he not sustained mankind since the bronze age with his fluffy tail and fat little nut-filled belly?

Helsinki's Central Park has long been home to a vast squirrel population and if Dave T. Dog, AKA The Mighty Hunter, has anything to say about the situation their days are numbered. Although he first has to learn how to climb trees. A minor obstacle. Rest assured, dear reader, once that skill is added to Dave's already overflowing skill plate those squirrels will have to come up with something more deviant than simply ascending a tree to avoid the hunter's tendrils. Or teeth in Dave's case.


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